Good Deal?

I have had one glass of Charles Shaw and I am drunk...how did that happen? I had avoided Two-Buck Shaw for a while but it was an open bottle on the counter already, so I could not let it go to waste.

So in the midst of my drunkness watching Deal or No Deal who has decided to go to South Africa now, I call her to say hello.

She repeats the same exact story from last night. She has gotten so much worse. I listen patiently without telling her, "oh, Mamani, you said that last night..." I listen partly because I am too buzzed to say anything and because I don't really listen to her when she talks...really, I stopped listening to her a while back, maybe 10 years ago.

Then I hear her suddenly, saying this, "az to entezaar kasi nadareh, yek zendegi daaanesh jooy daaree..."

EXCUSE Me? I have not been a "Danesh Joo" for four years officially.

"Deegeh taa shohar nakardi, Danesh Joo hasti...deegeh," Then she laughs at her own crooked logic.

Great.

Somehow the "empty" period between being a Danesh Joo and getting married will not account for anything...until there is a man in your life. Until then, you are really not officially a functioning member of this society. Because, really...it was supposed to happen the day after graduation from law school, that day I was supposed to say yes and cut the deal. But it didn't happen. So now they have a hard time legitimizing my status as a human being.

Great.

Note to self: relax. All this comes from an 80 year old woman who probably has never had a real orgasm.

All I want to say to her is this: "een Shohareh shoma cheh goli zad beh sareh shoma?" but then I don't even know if I am saying it right? Is that the right phrase? My Farsi has gone bizertte....

So I shut up and drink some more Charles Shaw and listen to her.

Let her ramble on and on...

*****************************************

She gets an offer of 105k and accepts.

But the real question is, Did She Make a Good Deal?