The almighty trash bins

I have fallen in love with trash bins recently...trash cans of all shapes, forms and sizes...the bigger they are, the better for me...I get to throw away and throw far...and to let go of dirt, dust, old memories and just cleanse...every time I walk over to the bin with my full trash bag in my hand, and with every throw of arm, I feel powerful, relieved, as if I have lived a good life, enjoyed the moments and am just getting rid of the irrelevant and useless part of it. (i ate a good can of soup and the can is gone now...)

Of course, I love the recycling bin even better, b/c not only I am cleansing my life by recycling, I am also helping the environment...some time in an unknown moment, in a far away land, some stranger is going to reuse what I recycled (someone once told me she had encountered recycled toilette paper but that's pushing it a little...at least i hope they don't recycle toilette paper FROM toilette paper itself...Actually I don't want to know how they do it. I rather just mystify the concept)

In the past few months, starting last December with my immigration to OC, I have thrown away three truck loads full of stuff...and recycled my college/graduate school papers...and I feel so good. With a every useless item that's out of my life, I feel a new cell in my body to be born, feel light and elated... my breathing more regular.

Maybe if she had thrown away enough during her lifetime, she would have renewed her body cells too...maybe she would not have become sick...maybe her nerves would not have been damaged like they are now. But instead, she held on tight, and kept it all around her: old receipts, expired medicine, lipstick and mascara gone bad, babaee's unused paper towels, my first swim suit from when I was 2 years old...The past basically never left her.

Maybe if I throw away enough, I won't become like her? Maybe.