Momentary Self Confidence is Good Enough

Pomona Court house is located near the 6o Freeway in Los Angeles. When I map quested it yesterday, I thought I hadn't been there before. You see, because I was taking a different route to get there: the 261 to 241 to 91 to 71. I had never been on the 71 freeway, at 7 in the morning before either. It was beautiful, with the sun coming out of the morning fog, driving on a two-lane road, it felt more like a road-trip than work. (Well, going to court is always a road-trip, except going to downtown L.A., when you don't move on the 5 Freeway. That's more like a "Road Halt".)

Anyway, as I drive, with no traffic and get there early, I pull into the parking lot of this corner Starbucks. All of a sudden, things begin to look "aashenna". Yes, I have been here before, had gotten my tall cafe latte too. I don't know why, but I decide against going inside the Starbucks this time. Wait, I know why. Lately, my stomach can't handle their coffee, which could be a good thing for my pocket. So I sit in the car for five minutes and watch people, then drive to the parking lot of the court house, where they charge $6 for parking, cash. Of course, I only have $2 in cash so I have to go around the not-so-nice neighborhood and look for parking. Yes, I have definitely been here. I think two years ago, when I was at my very first job as a lawyer. Except, last time, I had taken the 10, to the 60 to something else. It's amazing what happens when to the same destination when you look at it from a different angle.

I park. I start walking. All of sudden, it hits me today is October 18th, and exactly two years ago, I started at D & Associates. I arrived in the morning and she had put some discovery questions on my desk. She told me, as if I was a first grader, "these are Form Interrogatories",

Alef, beh, peh,teh,seh. After 22 years of schooling, let's start back from alef, beh, shall we? No problem.

But today, as I am walking, I feel much more confident, and the palms of my hands are not sweaty anymore. I go through the security check, and smell the fresh brewed coffee at the cafeteria, and decide to get myself a cup of $1.15 court coffee. I am happy now.

I go to the fifth floor. There are 12 attorneys waiting to be called at that particular department today, two of them woman, one of the woman me. Ten others are white males in their 40's and 50's. Out of the ten males, I have worked on cases with two of them before! and I am only considered a third year lawyer. This is a small world, I tell you.

Everything goes smoothly, I am feeling good, I am feeling confident,I come out and come back to the office. My first phone call is my new boss who says to me, without saying hello, "did you write these discovery questions to so and so on this case?" "yes", I reply. "Well...you wrote some stupid questions!"

great. thanks. so much for ever lasting self-confidence.

And suddenly, all i can think of at this moment is Alanis:

isn't ironic, don't you think?
it's a little too ironic
yeah I really do think
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out