The ABCs that never change

It was so nice seeing old friends Saturday night at the most grandios wedding of the century.

A was still an alcoholic and single.

B was still a well dressed bitch.

C was still an annoying prick. No wait, he was MORE of an annoying prick.

D was still the sweetest man alive, and now married. (Good for him!)

E was still very freaky, the way he sat there staring at people. And rudely, he did not wear a tie.

F still had your home and work address memorized and knew when your last car payment was made. (I really want to subpeona his computer files once and see everyone's profiles)

G had lost weight, had a date but the way he gazed at the bride had not changed. ( I told her don't invite your ex to your wedding but she didn't listen to me)

H was still funny as hell. No wait, he was funnier.

I, I mean me, still have a crush on X.

J took way too many photos as usual. (She must have been Asian in her past life).
Oh yeah and K was still tense, confused and rushed. (Type A personalities do not make good doctors by the way.)

L was still shy and only smiled to me from afar.

M's eyes were still very blue.

N is still gay but he pretends otherwise by dancing with beautiful women.

Dr. O's wife still a lovely lady, elegant with her neck stiff as if she has had a car accident.

P sat too far and I didn't feel like approaching her.

Q needs surgery on his eyes, he can afford it too so why doesn't he get it?

R wore a red tie.

S showed up 8 months pregnant. Her seat was across the table from her freaky ex-boyfriend.

T didn't know how to dance. (Dancing lessons should be mandatory before a wedding--for everyone, not just the bride and the groom.)

Uncle U was drunk and having the time of his life checking out younger women.

V, Uncle's U's wife, was mad as hell but smiled to keep the familiy's aberoo, if they have any left that is.

W stood in a corner the whole time drinking, watching, not even smiling...so useless. (They should have had security escort him out)

X was a cutie pie, fun and much taller than me after I took off my shoes at the end of the night.

Y was text messaging most of the time, then left early!

Z wore a zebra dress. It was a disgrace to humanity.