The girl next door.

She has golden, reddish hair, long and kinda wavy. Mid-thirties. Her background is a mix of Eastern and Western European. Her head is always tilted to one side, making me think she just had a recent neck injury or some kinda accident. She is soft-spoken and walks really slow. I mean really slow. Doesn't wear pantyhose, despite the employee handbook rule, page 32.

She comes in right on time in the morning, takes the 60 minute military lunch (the other day, I saw her put on her tennis shoes and start walking during lunch time in the neighborhood). She leaves right at 5:30...sometimes 5:31 or maybe 5:32. Great role model for me, as opposed to the guy who is in at 7 a.m. and leaves at I-don't-know-what-time since I am not there to find out.

The first day, she did not come in to introduce herself, so I took the initiative to do so, went inside her office and did my usual "Hi, I am ....", being social. She barely smiled but managed to mumble, "nice to meet you." Not a welcome, not a "it's a great place to work here...", Nada.

At the end of the first day, she stopped by for 2 seconds and said, "Hope your first day went Okay."

She is sad. Truly sad. Her big eyes scream it and her energy just vibrates all day next door to me that something tortuous has either happened to her in the past (like child abuse), and or is still happening to her. Maybe she is going through a divorce? Maybe her mother has cancer or just passed away from cancer? Maybe she can't have children? Maybe her ex-lover died in the Twin Towers on September 11th? (Or is it that lawyers are just sad people?!)

Whatever her problem is, money can't fix it. It's an unbearable loss...

I like the secretary much better. She is tall and heavy, in her mid-20's and already has two kids. She is happy. She was the one who called me for my interview and when I told her I have to come after hours, she managed it for me. She made it happen. She is good at her job and good at "managing" things, since I hear her all day, outside my office. This one is as white as they come...probably born and raised in Oklahoma or maybe Iowa. So for her, having moved away from there to California has been the achievement of a lifetime. She is done and happy.

When am i gonna be done and happy?

Don't want no GS when it's still cold.

Saturday I bought my first batch of Gojeh-Sabz ("GS") for this year, the small, round and sour plums. $3.99. There is only a very short period of time when they are sour and crunchy enough to eat, April to mid-May, so you really have be careful and plan accordingly. You have to get them when they are right, otherwise you miss your chance and have to wait for one more year to pass by.

But I am still wearing my winter coat, and somehow winter coats and GS don't go together. GS is designed for warmer temperatures, when you have a short-sleeve shirt on and the sun is shining on your skin, while biting into a nice, sour and cold one, with salt on it, of course.

Yup...this is yet another thing to bitch about.

1-800-HELPPPP

"I'm sorry to keep asking you for legal help, but you are the only lawyer I know. " Her e-mail read this morning. My first thought was "how cute! I'm the only lawyer she knows", whereas I am surrounded by lawyers at work and amongst friends and it is very difficult for me to imagine a life without the law and everything in it. Then I went on doing my usual tasks of the day...you know, reading, researching, analyzing, writing...the lawyer stuff.

Sometime mid-day, after having had enough coffee and sugar, it hit me:

" I AM THE ONLY LAWYER A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW:

1) Mr. S had e-mailed me last week with some insurance fraud question.

2) Mr. H wanted advise a few months ago on a collection case. His wife, Mrs. H, called me from the airport when her mother had an immigration issue.

3) Uncle X, before he lost touch, would call me occasionally with landlord-tenant questions. (and once I refused to do something for him, he got angry and revolted against my poor parents instead).

4) R's aunt, even though she has hired her own lawyer, called me for second opinion.

5) When Y called and left a msg. that she had put down my name as her family law attorney, I got pissed off...thought that was just crossing the line.

and the list goes on and on...

Wow. I have to admit this is an ego booster. But only if the knew about my faults, my shortcomings, my negative thoughts and my occasional lack of self-esteem...they would stop calling.

If that's not enough, other people know they can rely on me for various reasons such as money, my car, my home, my name { but NOT my credit--which incidentally I am happy about, otherwise I had to go on co-signing people's transactions too}. Apparently, somewhere along the line, I have given the false impression of being a stable, responsible citizen to others.

Am I? What if I tell them all I don't want to pay back my student loans and rather, I want to run away to an island free of those loans without any U.S. jurisdiction?

Who am I going to rely on myself?