My Day

Events of the day:

I wake up with the first light of dawn. Given that I slept at 9 p.m. last night, it is obvious why I can't go back to sleep. Also, my anxiety has been back for a while so that means sleeping has decreased.

I go to the bathroom about 6 times from the time I open my eyes until I finally decide to give up the fight and get out of my bedroom.

I send out a demand letter for an unreturned security deposit. I copy it, I fax it, I mail it.

I make two phone calls on another housing case: one to the process server who informs me she can't serve someone who does not open the door, another to the nice attorney on the opposing side which ends up with his voice being really loud at the end.

I create a new blog on Wordpress because I am intending to use that one from now on. But then I can't figure out the perfect background layout for it so I just use this one instead.

A potential client calls from Northern California who found my name on the internet. He is from Sudan and his sister's name is Layla--which is why he called me. He wants to apply for citizenship. Great, join the club.

I do other things as well. Like cook brown rice and mung beans because it is about the only thing I can digest these days.

I have two international--no I am sorry three--phone calls about my recent existential crisis these days. All of the people who love me try to console me saying this isn't a big deal--the move across the oceans that is. I try to believe them.

I try to call a man who has recently had a new prosthetic leg and who calls me to see how I am doing these days. But his roommate says he is sleeping. I feel bad for not calling him more often.

I check out this one attorney's website and realize it is still under construction after two years, and I can't figure out how she functions in this world with such a crappy website and how she got a 1.3 million dollar jury verdict, presenting herself with such a website. I guess that could be because she is just an amazing lawyer and amazing lawyers supersede amazing websites.

I spend about one hour filling out a UN job application online but the stupid form can't be saved and I accidentally close out the window.

Then, I cry. And I cry hysterically. I cry for what is happening to me and for what I have created, and for unexpected things and more and more.

Then I remember all the things I have been studying for the past two years about Soul work and Soul journey and Soul development. Well, here they are. And the Earth is nothing but a school. I try to believe this one too.

When I am done crying, I check more e-mail, more facebook and make more phone calls.

And now I am going to bed again.