Title-aholic

Sometimes I just like to sit here and think of good titles, without having anything to write about.

It's fun.

A permanent state of impermanence

There used to be three of them: Chat Noir in Costa Mesa, Rouge in Newport Beach and French 75 in Tustin and Laguna Beach.

Now, Chat Noir and Rouge have disappeared. French 75 moved out of Tustin into where Rouge was.

Laguna Beach still remains intact.

Somethings change. Others remain the same and life goes on.

This fast track world of ours

Today I received a 2009 calendar in the mail. For God's sake, I am still working on getting started on my 2008 resolutions.

What is wrong with our world?

The ABCs that never change

It was so nice seeing old friends Saturday night at the most grandios wedding of the century.

A was still an alcoholic and single.

B was still a well dressed bitch.

C was still an annoying prick. No wait, he was MORE of an annoying prick.

D was still the sweetest man alive, and now married. (Good for him!)

E was still very freaky, the way he sat there staring at people. And rudely, he did not wear a tie.

F still had your home and work address memorized and knew when your last car payment was made. (I really want to subpeona his computer files once and see everyone's profiles)

G had lost weight, had a date but the way he gazed at the bride had not changed. ( I told her don't invite your ex to your wedding but she didn't listen to me)

H was still funny as hell. No wait, he was funnier.

I, I mean me, still have a crush on X.

J took way too many photos as usual. (She must have been Asian in her past life).
Oh yeah and K was still tense, confused and rushed. (Type A personalities do not make good doctors by the way.)

L was still shy and only smiled to me from afar.

M's eyes were still very blue.

N is still gay but he pretends otherwise by dancing with beautiful women.

Dr. O's wife still a lovely lady, elegant with her neck stiff as if she has had a car accident.

P sat too far and I didn't feel like approaching her.

Q needs surgery on his eyes, he can afford it too so why doesn't he get it?

R wore a red tie.

S showed up 8 months pregnant. Her seat was across the table from her freaky ex-boyfriend.

T didn't know how to dance. (Dancing lessons should be mandatory before a wedding--for everyone, not just the bride and the groom.)

Uncle U was drunk and having the time of his life checking out younger women.

V, Uncle's U's wife, was mad as hell but smiled to keep the familiy's aberoo, if they have any left that is.

W stood in a corner the whole time drinking, watching, not even smiling...so useless. (They should have had security escort him out)

X was a cutie pie, fun and much taller than me after I took off my shoes at the end of the night.

Y was text messaging most of the time, then left early!

Z wore a zebra dress. It was a disgrace to humanity.

Not Ok

Somethings are just not ok no matter how you cut it...they are inherently wrong, out of balance, just off the hook.

For example, it is not ok to crash a wedding. It is worse to crash a wedding of someone you know but weren't invited to.

And worst of all, it is not ok to call people and tell them to crash your wedding after dinner...sorry you couldn't afford to invite them for dinner.

Bad. Wrong. A No-No.

Eeraadi

I am not hard-headed nor sakhtgeer. Or if I am, I have a perfect justification for it all: for some reason, I just don't see myself getting along with a man who posts about 33 pictures of himself alone (Takee) on his Facebook page....I am sorry, but I just don't see it happening...

Puppy Love

Dogs are the best creations of God. Well, at least one of the best: they are always happy and excited to see you--for about 5 minutes only--they wag their tales, they lick your face, they request belly rubs and then once they get it all, they are done with you, they go away about their daily lives...whatever that may include such as barking at a stuffed animal.

They never pretend. If they are tired, they lay down and sleep and if you go near them to play, they push you away without hesitation. When they are hungry, they eat. They never eat out of boredom and depression. Hence, they don't really become fat. (Have you ever seen and overweight dog? No.)

They pee whenever they need to, where ever they are. They never hold it because they have to endure sitting in long boring court room sessions and as such, they never get urinary track infections.

And they kiss your ass if they do something wrong. And believe me, a dog knows when he has committed a crime.

Why can't people be more like dogs?

Me love OC

I had a dream that his parents lived in Valencia and his brother lived in Chatsworth, and therefore, we were moving to the Valley to be close to them. It was more of a nightmare...really...moving away from Tustin Ranch, Orange County.

I did not like my dream.

Orange County is boring, let's face it. However, sometimes in life, boring is exactly what you need to have peace. That's what I need right now... to remain where I am as it is, no matter how dull the strip malls get.

I really hope I never have to move to the Valley...ever. I did my time there, four years of high school was plenty of punishment.

Thank You.

The USC virus

My computer has been infected with a virus called Trojan Horse. It is my strong belief that this virus was created by some dude who went to USC and got his degree in computers. He also then created and owns the company which produces that AntiVirus softwares to fight Trojan Horse. It's a brilliant money making idea: first infect them, then make them go buy the drug for the infection, then sit back in Puetro Rico by the beach and sip margartias and laugh at how stupid human beings have become by falling into these traps.

He must have been a genius.

Now, you will never see a virus called Bruin Bear because it would be disgrace to all UCLA alumni to even think about doing such a thing...(I don't even know if they had a computer department?! I am sure they did but no one really found the building.) They did always tell us though that when we grow up and go to work, the person making the money and managing us will be a USC grad.

There.

The sink-or-swim school of life

I go for a swim. The water feels cool and refreshing. I start doing laps. Chlorine is the official smell of summer. All of a sudden I realize I never really learned the proper way to swim. Well, I did...I was taught at various stages of my youth by PE teachers and mean "Moalemeeneh shena", my cousins and my mom. However, I specifically remember I never followed instructions. I wanted to swim my own way, changing midway from "parvaneh" to "ghoorbagheh" to whatever else they would name the movements. I have always been impatient with following instructions. So finally I swam but I just did it in such a way not to sink. As long as I could stay above the water...I would be happy. (Oh, did I mention "docharkheh"?)

And that's how the sink-or-swim school of life began for me. I just made up my own movements as I went along, most of the time without consulting anyone. Recently, though, I have also realized that the easiest way to stay above water is simply to float...relax and lay your body on top of the water and float. As a 7-year-old told me recently, pretend you are on a water bed!

As I do my laps and think about this chaotic life of ours, three young boys near me are playing games and throwing each other in the water...without any adult supervision. They must be between 9 and 13. Suddenly, I think about all the dangers and all the liability that could be caused by this horrific childlike game. They literally stand on the steps of the pool and throw each other. I mean, I imagine their heads hitting the bottom of the pool, brains shattered, adults screaming, lawsuits....lawsuits...lawsuits, then some idiot lawyers arguing over whose brain was shattered into more parts, and which kid's brain would have been worth more in 30 years, based on the most recent report card, and then putting a value on that life...( I heard in some countries they have a flat rate of lost lives...yeah dude just make it simple: Lives for Sale: Ghaymat Maghtoo').

Jesus...lawyers are such buzz killers. And we get paid to be as such.

*****

I get out of water and leave the pool area. The kids are still laughing and playing. I want to make sure I leave with the memory of their happy faces....

January 20, 2009

The day America will have its first Black president...

now you tell me if we haven't come a long way? Surely, we have.

My father's role on this earth

i think i finally figured him out. One of his incredible qualities is to feel abundant steadfastly when he is around other people who have money, even when he has zero dollars himself. He sees himself as one with those others and their richness is transferred to him. He has surpassed the boundaries of ego, into oneness with others.

He is definitely an old soul, my father. Sometimes I wonder why he came back to earth again this time, and I think I know now: he came back to take care of my mom and he came back as a poor Dad to teach his children self-reliance...and let me tell you, he has succeeded big time.

My Daughters

I will have three daughters and I will name them after my favorite flowers: Jasmine, Lily and Daisy.