The W is everywhere

Now I know why L, M and T put up with W so much and did not break the partnership.

There is a W at every law firm.

UnForgiveness

This new year, I did not forgive many people and did not call them to say Saleh no Mobarak.

Sometimes in life you just have to stay in the spirit of UnForgiveness until it is finished.

It is...what it is.

The 13-bedar Saga in Irvine, CA

Yesterday i thought maybe i should stop boycotting 13-bedar after 6 years.

I thought it would be nice to go walk around, see some old friends, make some new ones and reminisce about the past.

Then I realized my sunglasses broke last week and I need a new pair--perhaps a Gucci one.

And I need new shoes for 13-bedar, something chic but comfortable and sexy at the same time.

I also need a new pair of jeans; I can't possibly wear the same old pairs and walk around; it might be bad luck.

Oh, and of course need a new top with a cute jacket for the afternoon when it gets cold.

Do i even have the right shade of eye shadow?!

All this would probably cost me a good $500 minimum.

I thought for one second longer, and then decided naaaaaah...I can just walk to my backyard and spend some time on the grass area alone, become one with the new earth, while wearing my pajamas and it would be much more cost-effective and "real".

The boycott shall continue...taa khoon dar rageh maast...

Good-bye "Shahreh Computer"

My father bought me my first comodor from Shahreh Computer, downstairs in the infamous Brown Building.

Mr. Sabbaghian, the owner of "Shahreh Computer", was kachal.

Mr. Sabbaghian was a nice man; he was also sociable; he let me borrow many new comodor games.

Mr. Sabbaghian held on tight to his "sangar" for 30 years, but he was finally evicted the other day.

I heard he came up to say good-bye to my grandma and cried.

Iranian Immigrant Divorce issues

Who gets the Persian "Abreesham" rug that has been sitting in the closet collecting dust?

How can we reach the properties in Iran that were inherited from "Amoo Gholam Hossien", then confiscated by the Iranian regime, and now none of us wants to go back to see how much they are really worth? More precisely, how can Judge Bill White in Orange County Superior Court determine the value of those properties?

Lastly, how much is her "Mehrieh" worth with the fluncutating price of gold?

Go figure.

"Borne back ceaselessly into the past"

I already miss winter days, cold and cozy weather, sleeping in when it rains...

It hasn't even been a week since Spring began.

Bad News

Coffee makes me too sick. It doesn't go with my body anymore.

I am sad.

Booyeh Aamrika

N. makes a bag of popcorn every day at about 4:00 p.m.

I just realzied popcorn reminds of movie theaters in America only.

Popcorn in Iran smelled differently. Well, everything in Iran smelled differently...even Spring.

Disconnection

In 1996, I specifically remember calling every single person that I knew and cared about and to say Happy Persian New Year.

This was before the advent of e-cards and text messaging.

I miss those days...when people actually connected.

Zardee man az to...sorkhi to az man

Ey Atasheh por ghoror,

i hope you have taken away all my pain tonight and given me even an ounce of your warmth and light.

Yet another Oops!

I bought a co-worker a box of chocolate for V-Day. She turned around and give it back to me with instructions to keep it for our clients when they visit. I left it in my desk drawer. One lonely afternoon at 4 p.m., I opened it and ate one. From then on, I have had many more lonely afternoons with an urgent need for chocolate. The box is almost finished now.

Oops.

Promise Breaker

Twice in my entire life, I have bargained with God not to ever complain about anything.

In December 1989, I bargained for an entry visa to the United States. I got the visa, entered the United States and could not stop complaining.

In May 2005, I bargained to pass the bar. I passed the bar and haven't stopped complaining since.

Poor nice God. And yet, I know he will fall for my false bargains again and again.

SAM

SAM has become the most important relationship in my life right now.

Life is interesting.

Rescue me...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued by a man.

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and all those other gals knew better.

They rocked. They were the shit.

Mamnoo 'ol Khorouj

i have this dream occasionally, more of a nightmare really, that somehow I landed at Mehraabaad Airport in the middle of the night and all by myself, without any Iranian currency, without a cell phone and without anyone's address! It's very scary actually. Somehow I end up taking a taxi to Meydooneh Vanak, where the driver drops me off abruptly and I am supposed to find my way around based on a distant memory of the streets...

As I try to remember how to walk from Meydooneh Vanak to Mirdaamaad, I feel confused, unsafe, lost and trapped. I feel like I could never leave this place...I think I am finally "Mamno'ol Khorouj"! I am stuck here forever...

I then wake up with much anxiety, look around and make sure I am still in my bed in California...where my home is.

On Self-improvement

Relinquish your need to be "right" all the time. You would be surprised how much it decreases arguments and anxiety.

This is difficult...but boy oh boy, it works. Just look at the faces of the people after you tell them: "Yes, you are right. It was my fault."

IRAC

IRACing is the first thing you learn on the first day of orientation at law school: When you read a case, you spot the Issue, Rule, Application of law and Conclusion.

I hated IRACing, so I didn't do it. Period.

She asked me today if I thought IRACing only applied in law school and not in practice of law, basically implying that you must IRAC until you die. That's great.

Well, I didn't tell her that I failed to IRAC in law school.

Oops.

Yeah, so this IRAC is different than the other Iraq.

Plan Accordingly

Every year around this time, jasmines bloom but they only stay in season for a short time, about two months maybe. Last year, by the time I acted and bought a jasmine plant, it was around May already. Although I tried to take good care of it so it would come back again to life this year--well, it didn't happen. It died.

This year, I had a plan. I actually calendared to buy a jasmine plant at the end of February. So I did and now I am awaiting every day for the first tiny white flowers to open up and say hello to me with their heavenly aroma.

Note to self: you gotta have a plan. You can't go through life without a plan and expect things to work out.

Most importantly, you have to respect Nature's cycles.

The Pantyhose Debacle

This morning there was a hole in my new sheer pantyhose that I just bought last week for $5.99. Happy Monday.

That's it. I am finally surrendering to the fact that I have to buy three to four pairs of pantyhose every month. I am revising my monthly budget accordingly. I am done fighting the fact that pantyhose is yet another issue working women have to deal with...that working men have no clue about.

I give up.

Anxious Life

There was this anxious feeling I would get every morning before "service" would pick me up to take me to "Mahdeh Koodak e Nahid" on Jordan Blvd: Butterflies in my stomach, heart burn, difficulty breathing. Going to kindergarten was not enjoyable at all. There was always a fear that a teacher might expect something of me I could not perform or an older kid might bully me around...or I that couldn't swim as well as other kids.

27 years later...I still have that feeling some mornings before coming to work.

Preferences

Is there something wrong with me if I prefer to hang out with my parents' friends and talk to them over the phone, ten times over my own friends?

Should I seek professional advice? I mean even more professional advice than I do now?

Or is it just another desperate outcry for the fact that I miss them?

The King of Malaafeh and Laahaaf

He spent most of his money on bed sheets and comforters, as well as towels, God bless his soul. To the point that we are ALL still using what he bought, being afraid of buying anymore and feeling guilty if we ever do, since he already spent most of the family wealth on them. There is so much more left, unopened...still sealed.

So now I am using one pink fitted sheet, two white pillow cases, one yellow pillow case, two separate comforters and one blanket all different patterns, constantly holding to his memory.

Incidentally, I buy him pink and yellow daisies when I visit him...those were his favorite colors...

Babaee was indeed the King of Malaafeh and Laahaaf.