No mo corner

Corner Computer desks are not fung shui. There is something about the 90 degree angle that is distracting or the way two walls come at u.

Thank God this is the last night I am using it.

Damage

Half your life is spent creating damage. The rest is spent on damage control.

I need a period in between when none of the above is occurring.

Pedi Days

The first woman said she got a pedicure for the first time for her brother-in-laws' wedding, ever. She said she never knew it felt so nice to get one.

The second woman didn't look like she had ever gotten one. She wore Chanel glasses but no pedi.

I lean more twards regular pedicures than owning Chanel, if I had to choose.

I can't think straight if I don't get them every three weeks or so. I actually recently calculated that since I bagan getting regular pedicures in 1999 or so, I must have spent approximately,,,oh Gosh...$2,320 on pedicures. That's about 17 pedis per year. Let's just say $2,500.

Well, let me tell you, that must have been the best way to secure my sanity in the past 8 years. A pedicure is a refreshing, stress-relieving, mentally cleansing activity which invigorates the soul.

It is beyond ordinary cleansiness and simple beauty. It's new start...

It's worth every penny.

Living an unstable life

March 1990-Venice, CA

Sept 1990-July 1991-Simi Valley

July 1991-January 1995-Calabasas

January 1995-July 1995-Canoga Park

July 1995-Sept 1995-Irvine

Sept 1995-July 2002-West LA

July 2002-Oct 2002-Anaheim Hills

Oct 2002-January 2006-LA

January 2006-Aug. 2006-Anaheim Hills

Sept 2006-Present-Tustin


***
They say it's bad for your credit score to move too much.

They forget to say how bad it could be for your mind and spirit, not knowing just how long this one will last...

Healing Saturdays

Saturday mornings are different.

I wake up happy. I drive to the beautiful beach town of San Clemente, California.

I don't actually go to the beach though.

First, I usually go to Dr. Fu for some small punctures on my back (upper), and my head, at times. Dr. Fu is the happiest and cheeriest Chinese woman I have ever met. More than the needles, I have realized, she has a general healing power. Just seeing her makes me well...she keeps saying it's all about energy...I am low on energy...

Then I proceed to Dr. W. Sometimes I get Starbucks before going to Dr. W. Her office is in this old building, small and dark. It is decorated in the most horrifying manner , with stuff that were probably bought at fleet markets and garage sales. It's not her taste, that much I know. It's the other woman whom she works with...despite the stuffy office, we talk and I heal.

Saturday mornings, I heal. I deposit all the ache and the pain of the week there in San Clemente and come back to start yet another fresh week, to collect my share of toxins again...and then deposit and then again and this goes on and on...

Dr. H always says therapy is like taking a shower...it's necessary because you keep getting dirty all the time...because are alive, because you are living a life...

I like Saturday mornings.

Indecisiveness is one of the major symptoms of depression...so are over-eating, over-sleeping and inability to concentrate, and follow up with tasks.

yeki book yeki nabood

zeereh gonbadeh kabood

yeh dokhtareh neshasteh bood

een dokhtareh khaily khasteh bood

va shekasteh bood

The night she left...

The night she left us, me and Dad, she had just turned one...this was 18 years ago.

That night, she was still in diapers, barely walking.

That night, I came home and smelled her closet and cried.

Mom said, she had gone by the windows in the airport in Italy and waived at the cars calling Dad..."Abby bia..." she would say.

Where does time go? Is time just part of our imagination?